// for if someone gets too close, the pins stick further in

hahah jus went to j8 with kris. had lotsa lotsa fun. hahaha. so many weird pple hang out there. hahah anyhows, thts kris and my song ! we love tht song ! squeals with delight. -hugs kris real tight- :)))

if you knew how many nights ive been sitting by your bed runnin fingers through your hair while you're asleep. every time i call your name or softly whisper in your ear you turn around to look for me and no one's there where ever you are where ever you go ill be around ill be around just want you to know if you're lost without me wondering where i might be ill be waiting just around the corner of your eye like an angel watching meet me when you're dreaming ill be waiting just around the corner of your eye i could be your pot of gold everything you're wishing for, but do you really want to find the rainbows end. let me know and ill come true i will give my all to you but don't let anybody take your dream away there's a song playing in every heart beating in a key that unlocks every door there's a time for knowing what's behind the curtain and it's all you're wishing for

edna, okayy. im talkin to you now but hell, still gonna leave you a note. okayy. you see, what i feel abt ser, im really glad tht we were besties. really, she left alot of pleasant and sweet memories for me. sometimes thinkin abt the frenship we had still makes me cry, but undeniably, its really over. our bestie ship is something thts really tough for us to rebuild cos of so many things tht happened. we even seldom talk to each other now, the most we do is jus wave and say hi to each other in the canteen. i dont noe whats going on in her life and she doesnt noe whats going on in my life even thou i try very hard to recommunicate with her. yea. we might be good frens again but being besties again is really tough. moreover im no longer close to them anymore, ive got my sec 3 frens and its better this way. not tht i dont want them as frens anymroe, but its jus tough for me to try to forge what we used to have. maybe i jus dont suit having a bestie cos i dont noe why, but im pro

jus came back frm town. went there with kris, ele and mel first then i bought this really damn nice book and alot of pens. and ele bought this really nice pencil ! growls with envy. ahha then we went to long john's to eat and per and vaune and ping came to join us then i went with vaune and ping to pluck eyebrows. okayy, ping plucked her eyebrows and she seriously looks good ! :) hahah then we went shopping. hahah vaune's is really funny and amusing ! we were shopping for clothes and she looked horribly good in this top and skirt. she's so bloody thin ! so ive decided to go on a diet ! and im really determined this time. haha. dieting never fails to remind me of charl. hahahah joggin and all. but well, we've decided to go on a shopping spree on fri and this time round, we are gonna buy clothes ! hahahah cos by fri, we all will have cash ! grins. i can hardly wait. this really helps to get bad thoughts off my mind. and oh my, vaune is really funny. hahahhah. and

whats with me tryin to sound pitiful ? im tryin to make things alright ? and okayy. i wasnt happily playing away with tht stupid dare ? i was worried and all tense over MY own dare i didnt really react damn greatly to her dare ? and okayy, if i dont say sorry to you, what else do you want me to do ? and im not expecting you to feel sorry abt the whole thing, cos the whole thing has nothin to do with you expect tht dare and the thing is, i never ever thought it was ever your fault. if i had thought so, i wont have went to look for ve to talk things out with her then go look for you and talk to you ? and when i was talkin to you, you dont even seem keen to sort things out and make things better ? you were jus busy makin me feel worse abt the whole issue. you're not the only one feelin all humiliated okayy. and alrights, you're humiliated by what we had done, and yes, we realised tht its a big big mistake on our part to do sth so stupid and ME not prioritising your feelings, tht i

if you dont need me jus cos of a stupid dare and misunderstanding, i dont see why i shld even start explaining everythin to you cos im badly mistaken. really. so if you really dont need me cos you dont noe the truth, then jus say i dont need a fren who starts gettin all angry with me cos she assumes things

okayy alrights. so you dont have to bring in my own frenship stuff right ? oh pls. its my frenships and not yours and the thing is tht i did clear things up with her. are you sayin tht ive big attitude problem and i so love to argue and break my frenships ? you think carefully okayy. and if i didnt bother abt what was goin on, i wld have msged you like 3 times tht day and you didnt reply a single msg of mine ? i tried to apologise to you but you were being all so sacarstic ? and you're not okayy with me and ele only ? ytd, i wanted to talk to you, but it wasnt me who didnt want to go ? you think carefully before you start blaming me ? PLS. its not ME who didnt want to go. i was waiting for somebody. and char and ve started scolding me cos i WANTED TO GO ? ironic hurr ? i dont mind if you guys start blaming me for not being able to face up to you or not, but for heaven's sake, its NOT ME ! so go find out the truth. i dont noe what you guys have been saying, especially her okayy.

im at ele's hse now with freda and ping. was at ele's hse ytd with freda too. tot it was pretty fun until the end. i really hate ytd. sucks loads :l guess im at fault AGAIN. it is always my fault isnt it ? everyone's so concerned abt other pples' feelings except mine. well, probably to them, i dont even have feelings right ? and yes, so its partly my fault and well, i deserve to be blamed for everythin hurr ? stop msgin me to tell me off. i know what im supposed to do and for goodness sake dont scream at me when you bloody hell dont know what exactly happened cos you werent there and pls dont ever assume that i dont want things back to normal cos i really want them to. there reasons tht no one will ever understand no matter how hard i try to explain. so jus leave me alone alrights + cos i dont want the world to see me cos i dont think tht they understand when everythin's made to be broken i jus want you to know who i am +

went to wyn's hse on thursday with ele and mel. really had a great talk with ele. so glad ive got my bitch there for me always. always bitchin abt pple to her. hahaha wells. then ytd, went to ping's hse and it was really fun ! our hands were so dirty and we kept eatin chocolate and her family members are such great pple :))) yes. today's so borin and im not allowed to go out and im so lazy to blog ! eeks. haven been feelin too gd and im missing edna so so much. sighs :(( EDNA, i miss you dear !

the greatest pain in life is not to die but to be ignored to lose the person you love so much to another who doesnt care at all to have someone you care so much abt to throw a party and not tell you abt it when your favourite person on earth neglects to invite you to his graduation to have pple think tht you dont care the greatest pain in life, is not to die but to be forgottened to be left in the dust aft another's great achievement to never get a call frm a fren jus sayin 'hi' when you show someone ur innermost thoughts and they laugh in your face for frens to always be too busy to console you when you need someone to life your spirits when it seems like the only person who cares abt you. is you

oh man. meteor garden two is really really sad. been watchin the past few nights till 4am plus. so sickening sad. always end up crying. yikes. and KRIS, ure damn damn lame okayy ! wth, what a red wheelchair made of hay and grass. scare the hell outta me when i read the msg, i still have it, "im riding on my new wheelchair ! whee ! lol x)" haha. i was watchin my show halfway and when i read the msg i was so so shocked. i tot u really got urself a wheelchair ? haha. mad woman.

there's sth really wrong with my blog. my whole template's gone. its not tht ive not been bloggin. yikes. gotta change template again. wells, edna, its not tht there's sth wrong the frenship or anythin, i dont noe okayy. the point is tht day i wasnt angry or was in a bad mood or anythin. yea. so dont be too touchy abt it okayy.

feels damn good to noe tht at least ping trust me now. glad i called her. sighs. realised ive been missin out on lotsa stuff and is it jus me tht im falling out with almost everyone ? :(( this is really bad. yea. i haven stepped a single step outta the hse for close to a week ! gracious. and lost twenty bucks to jordan last night when we were playin cards and bingo. we stayed up all night till 3am. and i lost almost all my money. including the losses i regained. argh. no more gambling for me. but think mom's gonna play majong with us ltr. ahah. shall try to win back all my money. but jordan's nice, he treated us to pizza jus now. haha. anyhows, ive gotta thank kris, mel, ve and ken, ele [muh bitch] and obviously, my new found bestie, WYN for always bein there for me yea ? really thanks to u guys yupp. and yes, i still think guys are major jerks and obviously, they suck !! yucks. :|